My Archaic Revival

مآ أجمّل أنْ تصمتْ
فيْ ؤجهْ منْ ينتظرْ منِك الخِصَام 

وما أجمل أنْ تضحك
فيْ وجهْ منْ يُنتظرْ منك البكـاءْ

How beautiful is it to stay silent
When someone expects you to be enraged from them.
And how beautiful it is to laugh
When someone thinks you are going to shed tears.

(Source: desertwinds, via cosmicwanderlustt)

Apparently for most of my life I have been actively looking for things to get upset or worked up about.  I criticized, scrutinized, looked for faults, assumed failure.  

All it does is perpetuate negativity.

I am slowing down and noticing my reactions to things.  Trace the visceral emotions to the root, find the memory, process it and let it go.

Dancing with my demons instead of ignoring that they are there.  I feel victorious every time I realize I am being silly.

Is this what wisdom feels like?  Choosing to accentuate the positive?

My energy has changed.  This most recent upgrade has been the one I have felt the most thus far.  A new internal operating system.  Nothing is lost, just re-arranged in a better way.  I have a clearer picture of how things work now.  I am getting better at spotting negative thought spirals, that are simply memories attached to feelings.  Things that already happened, that I can choose to help me or hurt me.  Forgiveness, love, and understanding with a baseline of no judgement make for a good return.  You will always get what you give in some way shape or form.  Karma is merely energy.

We start to change our reactions and behaviors, everything starts to change.

This past weekend was somewhat of a shamanic ritual.  Eclipse times are magical.  The energy is potent and the manifestation energy is at an alltime high.  You can pull certain experiences toward you.  I am finally choosing to let them help me evolve to the person I know I am inside, that is finally finding her way back to the surface.

This reality that we are in produces many factors that cause us to hide aspects of our true nature.  We want to protect what is special and important because we want to preserve it.  It makes sense.  Humanity has been through some dark times.  On an individual level we have all been battling our demons in hand to hand combat lately.  We are coming out of these dark times and entering a new phase of light.

We have been taught that love is finite, as if there is only a certain amount, and at some point we will run out.  Breaking free from this idea of attachment is very challenging but worth every bit of effort.  It is the most freeing experience.  Letting go, diving into heart chakra energy, changing my internal monologue to break free from focusing on all the worst case scenarios and what ifs to just letting it pass.  Giving myself pep talks is so much more enjoyable.  Focus.  Maintenance.  All things must be nurtured if they are expected to bloom.

I am manifesting some pretty fantastic and talented people into my life right now.  i am becoming more comfortable with myself and learning to ride the chaos.  Each one of us has been through a struggle to make us who we are.  Respect the struggle, and let people in and you will discover beautiful bizarre things.

magic is real.

You never really understand until you experience it first hand.